New Lens

Wow. What a difference! I see a major difference from my old lens that came with the SLR I bought back in 1986. This new one is a 50mm prime with auto focus. I'm getting older and finding that my eye isn't as sharp as it was. The description of this lens mentioned a wonderful bokeh and indeed, I see it! The backdrop for this image is the new paint job in our dining room and I think the color is fabulous for this picture.

27 Weeks

Date: 18 December 2009
How far along: 27 weeks, 6 days
Weight gain: At least three more pounds this week
Sleep: Intensely, weird dreams with major leg cramps early in the morning.
Best moment this week: I put on a tight-ish brown sweater and felt proud of my pregnant belly.
Movement: A tickle on my side. I woke up one night and thought that either D or one of the cats was tickling me. The tickle was coming from the inside and I think it's when her hands are moving around.
Food cravings: None since I've had left over baby shower cake to eat all week.
What I miss: Feeling normal.
Next challenge: Coping with gestational diabetes. It's official, I have gestational diabetes. I'm floored by this because I am someone who eats healthy, organic healthy. I have to start testing my blood sugars four times a day.
What I am looking forward to: March and the opportunity to work out more intensely. I'm not comfortable with all this weight I have put on.
Weekly Wisdom: Feeling down this week, haven't found the moment of weekly wisdom. Got some to offer?

This picture was taken last Sunday and I tried to capture what my belly looked like behind the sari. Just today, I looked through the pictures from the baby puja and needless to say, I am not pleased with how I look. The sari doesn't help. My face looks all blown out and swollen. D looks so trim and fit in all the pictures and I'm sad that I don't look like him. Throughout the 15+ years of our marriage, we always manage to look similar in our pictures. But I feel like a cow next to him. Gives a whole new meaning to "ten cow woman."

This week has been an emotional roller coaster week with many ups and downs. The baby puja went fine, "better than expected" so says my mother, but she and I are fighting again, and the news about the gestational diabetes has me very troubled.

But, D is home on vacation all next week. And, hopefully, he will be able to help me adjust to this new development in the pregnancy. Found a great second-hand clothing store that has great maternity pieces, so have been relieving depression with some shopping. Got a new 50mm prime lens that should be fun to play with. I want to make an effort to get back the baby bliss before the new year. Working out every day with D will help with that.

From BabyCenter: This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

Fair Food Fight brings on the Challenge

The General Manager of Eastside Food Co-op, an amazing woman, sent forward these links to the board of directors, to which I got elected back in October. Wow. Talk about a new path in life, new things to think about, new ideas (for me, anyway) to develop. And I am thoroughly enamored with this position in much the same way I was when I started graduate school. Combine this with Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle showing up in my life, and suddenly I feel like I've got a whole new passion and perspective on food. Instead of going to the health club at this hour, I feel like recording my own thoughts and responses to these two articles. Don't worry, I'll get on that treadmill at little later today.

Here are the links:
The first is from Bob St. Peter writing an article that showed up in Grassroots Economic Organizing -- Co-opted: The Fall of the Natural Foods Cooperative and What We Can Do About It.

The second is from El Dragon over at Fair Food Fight with a response to St. Peter -- Grocery Co-ops: Dead or Ready to Future Shock You?

St. Peter's article takes a jarring approach to describing the activity within grocery co-ops today. He rightly points out that co-ops are stocking up on organic fast foods and expanding to make these inventories larger and filled with more variety. There is discussion about what brands appear in the inner aisles of co-ops that are owned by large corporations and suggestions for how to radicalize the co-op mission and their members in this millennium when corporations have co-opted smaller businesses. Amongst his list of nine suggestions that co-ops can consider are the following: diversifying by building key local infrastructure, start thinking like producers, working with local farms rather than national distributors, and changing the focus to being a local buying club rather than a grocery store.

El Dragon makes a response based on a reality I see here in Minnesota. The most important of these is that the consumers need the co-ops as grocery outlets. He also adds that perhaps there should be some intent put into "blowing up the store" which means enlarging the outer aisles, the bulk bins, the fresh meats and produce areas.

It was great to read these because both articles contained many good points. There seemed to be a bit of divide in terms of mission. Is the Co-op a grocery store or place for radical democracy? I believe there needs to be a balance of both. And that this balance is crucial for gaining and maintaining some mainstream appeal.

One the turn offs for me in the early years of my awareness for food supply alternatives was my own crowd of college-graduate idealists. I could not afford the strict adherence to buy from co-ops because living with a diabetic, I could not afford to buy juices only from particular places. Being part of the mainstream America, I despised their judgements and always felt a little guilty because of this when I shopped anywhere whether it be large conventional grocery store or smaller co-op. Imagine my genuine shock when I discovered through these articles that Knudsen's is owned by J.M. Smucker. Jeez Louise! I thought the cost of paying $4.79 for a can of frozen lemonade concentrate was justified because I was supporting a small, organic business. But, really it's owned by a large corporation. Was I duped or what? Now I buy lemons and squeeze my own lemonade. For real, no pun intended. And, I can control what sugar I use and the amount.

Another personal issue that was raised directly relates to those products found in the inner aisles. In my crowd there were quite a few vegetarians and some vegans. For the life of me, I did not understand why they were still eating the same sorts of food except in vegetarian or vegan versions of them. Vegan mac and cheese. Vegetarian non-bacon-bits. Etc. Granted my mother raised me on a different diet, a Gujarati diet that was mainly vegetarian but still filled with eggs and chicken, and a steak or two, here and there. But, I cannot and do not cook like her. But, my point is, I mainly shop the outer aisles of the Co-op, the produce sections, the meats and dairy. These are ingredients I begin with. But, definitely I broken from any sort of typical Gujarati or American diet to find ones that are suitable for this household.

I just realized I'm confusing myself here a little bit. I'm getting caught in my own angst about the judgements inflicted on me by my peers for considering the right choices for my family and my budget, which at times, does require I venture into a larger conventional grocery store.

However, I am thoroughly intrigued by El Dragon and St. Peter's suggestions for getting more imaginative. Bulk up and expand those bulk bins. These are the ways to eat healthy on a restrictive budget. Buy more fresh meats from smaller businesses. I supplement my meat purchases by shopping at Ready Meats that has more of a variety of cheaper cuts. And, I can buy just the amount I need and still stay within my budget. It keeps me from being tempted to buy from the huge sales at larger grocery stores.

On a side note, do you know anyone that is leery of the dirt that can be found on vegetables? My mother-in-law doesn't make salads because the lettuce at the grocery store has dirt on it. My sister, while living in Queens, would not buy from outdoor vendors because she thought the packaged up produce in grocery stores was so much cleaner. I'm dumbfounded by all this. Do these people not realize that vegetable are grown in dirt? Do they not realize that this dirt is easily washed away?

I am astonished about these sorts of opinions. Maybe I'm not part of the mainstream. Maybe that's why I feel so removed from those around me. I am very grateful about our decision to have children later in life. Now, I am equipped to make better decisions than when I was younger about how to raise my daughter and to eat healthy, and oh yes, where to shop.

Minneapolis At Night

So, it's freezing out there, actually, below freezing temperatures, and we're shooting, after a nice dinner of burgers at Elsie's down by the river. The vehicles are running right behind us, my fingers curled a bit into my fingerless gloves. I click down on my remote cable and am holding for five seconds, ten seconds. Then, suddenly, LT, the lovely wife, says something about getting a shot of the plane that looks like it's going in between the buildings. So, I keep the shutter open for a while longer, not having noticed this until she mentioned it. I love this picture. The light of the plane looks like a shooting star.

26 Weeks

26 Weeks

Date: 12 December 2009
How far along? 26 weeks, 6 days

Weight Gain: Another seven pounds since my last prenatal appointment. We talked a little about this, my doctor and I. I informed her that by the time I had come to my first visit at her clinic, I had lost over 8 pounds because of the progesterone the previous doctor had prescribed. So she adjusted my start weight and now, according to this figure, I've only gained 19 pounds, which puts me back to the normal range. However, my glucose test results were not the greatest - 136 - so, I'm a little bit above normal and may have to return for another 3 hour test preceded by fasting. My doctor said that 50% of women has abnormal results, so not to worry because as we reviewed my diet, she confirmed that I was indeed eating very healthy. I came home and promptly downed a huge square of carrot cake...later, I read on the internet that the cut-off for the glucose testing is sometimes 140, sometimes 130, so I may still be in the clear. Also, I did eat a little bit in that hour before my test and so, that may have also effected my test results. On top of all that, my mother called and totally stressed me less than 1/2 hour before my test and I do know that stress can also be a factor.
Sleep: No nightmares this week. It's getting a little more difficult to roll out of bed because of my bigger belly. I am getting better at staying sleepy while in the bathroom. However, I have had a couple of early mornings when I could not get back to sleep. I hope that I don't get insomnia, something I became too familiar with that when I was young.
Best moment this week: One night I dreamt of the little baby girl. She was dark haired and so very tiny.
Movement: I've noticed that she starts to kick at the top of each hour.
Food cravings: carrot cake and decaf lattes
What I miss: I miss beer. I hear mixed messages about drinking beer when breastfeeding. Mostly, though, I hear it's good to drink dark beer when breastfeeding. Yum. My favorite kind. I'm going to have the Big D pick up some stout on the way home from the hospital, maybe, probably.


I've been wearing a lot of brown lately. Today, I had my prenatal appointment and it was funny how many times I changed clothes. I was trying to find something that didn't add to my total weight. I shot this image right before my appointment and settled on the brown sweater when I realized that it didn't matter what I wore.

I'm starting to really enjoy my pregnant belly. I've recently found a great 2nd hand clothing store that had a huge rack of maternity clothes. There was variety and style, there was fun stuff and a range of clothes for a bunch of different occasions. There wasn't much I didn't like. Whereas every other place I've been, whether it's the mall or large department stores, I rarely found a single thing I liked. I bought a piece here and there just to have something, anything. My only other good score was contacting someone through Craig's List. 2nd hand stores and Craig's List are my two recommendations for decent maternity clothes!

What I am looking forward to: Drinking dark beer!

Weekly Wisdom: “I hope you have a wonderful puja and are enjoying every moment of being celebrated as a new mama. It is so important and beautiful for you to be honored now. Soak it up." Amelia, the doula. I am meeting with doulas next week to make a decision of which one to go with. I had already emailed Amelia last week, but got overwhelmed with all the puja planning this week, so I emailed her back to postpone our meeting. I started to cry when I read her email response. It was so sweet and supportive. Honestly, it made me realize all that I am missing in terms of support from my own mother, who is driving me crazy. I cannot wait for the Sunday afternoon when this puja is done. Anyway, this email from Amelia may just be the deciding factor.

From BabyCenter: "The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel."

There are times when one of my kitties start to purr really, really loud. And, when that happens, the baby starts to kick. I'm sure she can hear the cat purring. I hope she remembers that friendly purr when she comes out into this world.

I'm almost getting used to this whole pregnancy thing and starting to feel that bliss, except on days that I've talked to my mother. I haven't been sick at all during this pregnancy and have opted not to get the flu shot. I've talked to my doctor about this and have her support. I've been walking on the treadmill pretty regularly. I feel very healthy and am certain that all these efforts are what has kept me from getting sick. For this reason, I am surprised that pregnant women are in the high risk category for the flu. Most pregnant women eat healthy, take their vitamins and generally are more fit than the general public.

I may not be as fit as I once was, but, I definitely am the healthiest that I've even been in my life.

Baby Puja Planning Committee of One

So the big event is on Sunday. My baby puja. That's what I'm calling it now because it seems noone has any better description. My in-laws are a little freaked out because I called it a baby shower and according to them, those are only attended by women. All my male relatives are invited to this event, some male neighbors and other male friends. The only males disturbed by this concept is my in-laws. So, baby puja.

Although there is a puja to kick things off, that's not the main ceremony. This particular puja begins with a ceremony of gratitude to the deity Ganesha, or more commonly referred to as Ganapatiya in Gujarat. Then, we move on to the baby ceremony that marks the period of time when the pregnant mother moves back into her mother's home for the remainder of the pregnancy. There is more, but I'll describe that in another post. But, this also reminds me that I do need to do a little write up for all my American friends and family that are attending.

Add that the committee's list of things to do. The Baby Puja Planning Committee of One - that's me. When my mother decided to do this she made the decision just days before leaving town. She left to attend another puja in Oklahoma and then to my sister's house in Florida. She didn't return until the week before Thanksgiving and planning could not wait for her return.

Enter the Lotus. Who quickly forms a committee (of one) and sets about planning an event for which she has vague knowledge of. I took the charge seriously because I've never had another major event in my life celebrated as such. No wedding, no graduation, no Ph.D. party.

The most enjoyable and pleasant experience in all this was ordering the flowers.

Chenoweth Floral is near my in-laws home and just down the block from the neighborhood center where the puja is being held. They were wonderful! The colors for this puja are pink and green and brown and gold. I wanted pink Gerbera daises on the tables.


The first thing that happened was that the really nice, young man who helped me, very tactfully, informed me that I was pronouncing the flower name wrong. It is Gerbera and not Gerber (like the baby products).



Then he encouraged me to order an assortment of colors. I was already feeling like there was way too much pink at this event, so this turned out to be a fantastic suggestion. They ordered directly from a supplier in Columbia which reduced the price per stem (just over a dollar, another place quoted me $4 a stem. Yikes!) and they ordered 100 stems. Then, they called me today and I was able to pick the 3 dozen that I wanted. I picked out pink, a darker pink, yellow and some orange. It was great being in the midst of all this color during this monotone season of snow and slush.


I also picked up a bouquet of small carnations for the puja, at a reduced price, I might add. Rock on! They were so awesome! I mean, Chenoweth was awesome and I highly recommend them for your next floral purchase, whether it be big or small!



And, since they right down by the neighborhood center, I decided to stop and take a picture. It was quite the ordeal finding a venue for this event. All the places in Minneapolis require selecting a caterer from their approved list, and needless to say, there were no Indian caterers on that list. I started driving from one community center to another, until I finally found this place in my in-laws town. I also managed to get a discount because my in-laws are residents. And, the bonus is that this is a stand-alone building so there aren't any other activities scheduled like there were at all the other community centers.



There is a cute little gas fireplace, too!


My sari turned out to be a lot pinker than I had planned. I ordered it from India and that turned out to be way cheaper than picking one up in Chicago where there is a large number of Indian apparel stores. I ordered these poms online from Etsy. Why? Because I love them! Also, I can hang them in the baby's room when all is said and done. Something for her to gaze at hanging from the ceiling.

So once I realized that there was getting to be too much pink, I made efforts to balance that out. Green plastic table cloths. Chocolate cake with green flowers.

Whew! I'm glad the big stuff is done. Now there are just the little details to take care of. And, now I have to go, because one thing I really need to keep my sanity throughout this whole thing is to work out. Off to the gym I go and of course, that means I get to eat more cake! Right?

1st Big Snowfall of the Year

Yah, sure, we had snow sometime back in October, but that soon melted away. This snowfall wasn't all that big as far as Minnesota is concerned, but it's going to stay awhile. The temperatures have dropped into the single digits, so no chance of any snow melting away. It will get plowed away, and in some places, hauled away in big dumptrucks. But, for sure, it's staying for a while.

I feel quite lucky this year. I remember some years when the snow would dump down, measuring in feet rather than inches, and stay until April. This year the snow is hitting kind of late. Just last week, I wasn't even considering my winter vest, let alone, my big, heavy winter coat.

I don't think we got as much as was expected. But the snow sure did come down...



...and in. The Big D found snow piled up between our screen door and the solid backdoor on his way out to work this morning.



The wind picked up and there are huge drifts everywhere. Usually, I'm the shoveler, but this year, D will get a chance to pull out his snowblower.

I'm thinking we could use some more! Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!